We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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