He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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