anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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