I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
