Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
