yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
