I accidentally burped into my bong.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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