I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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