Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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