I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
