Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
