i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize