therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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