drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
