Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
