is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My pussy is not your playground.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
