I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
