Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
