he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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