Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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