I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My bed smells like the plague
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
