My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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