There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
