I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
