Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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