so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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