He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
