So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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