I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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