I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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