His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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