i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
