Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
