Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize