Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
