Sponge bath it is.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
