her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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