That's when you crack a 10am beer
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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