This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
