is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
