I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
false alarm. still invincible.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
