dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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