Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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