Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
