I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
