Just fell off a train. Bad.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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