it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
