Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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