i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
