I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize