all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
