i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
