I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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