do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
