yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
