1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
FUCK WHALES
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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